The Elusive Art of Decision Making

Until I was twelve years old, I asked my mother for validation before pouring myself a glass of water. 

When friends would show up at the door, sneakers scuffed from walking the country road half-mile to my house, I’d tell them I couldn’t play and then sit stewing for hours, imagining how much fun I’d be having if I’d only said yes, instead. 

At sixteen I’d be invited for road trips, a quick text with a simple “yes” or “no” the only ticket I needed to gain access. I’d consider the pros and cons: would I miss a TV show if I went? What inside jokes would I be excluded from if I didn’t? I’d think about it for so long that by the time I would finally decide to go, it would be too late. The friends had already left. 

I’d missed the train. 

Continue reading “The Elusive Art of Decision Making”